NBC/Andrew LipovskyMiley Cyrus dropped by The Tonight Show on Thursday and offered a version of the holiday classic “Santa Baby” with some updated lyrics to better reflect the current atmosphere.
The sketch opened with Miley looking over the lyrics — written back in the 1950s — and complaining about the depiction of the woman in the song.
“Has anybody ever actually listened to them? Look at this — ‘Slip a sable under the tree for me?’ Do you even know what that is,” she asks.
“A sword?” answers Jimmy.
“No Jimmy, it’s a fur and I’m vegan,” explains Miley. “And look at this, I’m asking for a car and a yacht and checks and literally the deed to a platinum mine?…Am I saying that I’m going to hook up with Santa if he buys me all this stuff?”
Jimmy finally tells Miley to “do whatever makes you feel comfortable.”
The sketch continues with the “Wrecking Ball” singer delivering her own lyrics, with Fallon and her “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart” collaborator Mark Ronson hilariously trying to keep up.
“Santa baby, I don’t need any fancy jewelry/Not me/I’ve got something else in mind, Santa Baby/And I don’t need your presents tonight,” she starts off.
“Listen Santa to what I say/a girl’s best friend is equal pay,” Miley adds at one point, eliciting thunderous applause from the women in the audience.
“Stop interrupting me when I talk/and don’t text me pictures of your…,” growls Cyrus before being cut off by the sound of Ronson’s cell phone ringing.
And Miley’s final wish: “Santa baby, I love to know my a** won’t get grabbed at work/by some ignorant jerk/Tell the dirtbag to put away the chimney tonight.”
(Video contains mild, uncensored profanity.)
