ABC/Rick Rowell(NEW YORK) — Last night’s Bachelor in Paradise focused on the fallout from the Caila Quinn-Jared Haibon- Ashley Iaconetti love triangle.
The triangle abruptly disassembled with Caila awkwardly packing her suitcase while Ashely tries to convince Jared that she is acting in his best interest, trying to protect him because she loves him.
Jared and Ashley talk for a minute but Jared leaves on a low-speed chase after Caila, who is in a car that is driving away very slowly. Amazingly, Jared manages to stop the vehicle without breaking the creases in his slacks and gets in with Caila. He tells her he wants to be in the car with her and says, “What am I gonna do?” and the two of them say goodbye to paradise. True love is, like, literally: so awesome.
Meanwhile, Ashely is crying. “I just lost one of my best friends,” she says, and moments later resolves to live for herself and puts on makeup.
During what looks like a lightning storm, Wells Adams and Canadian Jami Letain come over and have drinks. Wells doesn’t want to bum-out Ashley while Jami says that she’s “89 percent sure” that Wells is over Ashley. They hug.
After the commercial break, Isabel “Izzy” Goodkind has a few things to say and then Lauren H from Ben’s season shows up. Brett Melnick says Lauren “looks scrumptious” and Wells says that he doesn’t want to get asked out again because he’s overwhelmed with all the women he’s juggling.
Shushanna Mkrtychyan has also shown up and Ashley does not like that, calling Shushanna “Eurotrash.” Shushanna, meanwhile, is wearing high-heels in the sand.
Next we find Lauren and Brett and Shushanna and Wells down at the beach where they are going to have surfing lessons, instead of behavioral psychotherapy, which everyone at this resort might benefit from.
The lessons seem like a thinly veiled excuse to get Lauren and Shushanna out of their Daisy Dukes and into revealing bikinis as they splash around. This is punctuated by Brett who says, “Lauren is looking pretty hot in a bikini. Shushanna also looks great. Today I brought my BEECHES to the BEACHES.”
Izzy is not happy that Brett is at the beach with Lauren.
Meanwhile, Lauren and Brett are together on the beach and Lauren is talking and her roots are showing and Brett says he is “super confused.”
Back in Ashley-land, Ash is concerned that she is competing with two other girls. When they cut to Wells, he is explaining Shushanna’s appeal and compares her to a Bond villain, though he neglects to point out which one. Since it’s unlikely Wells is familiar with From Russia with Love, let’s just say “Jaws.”
Back at the resort, Evan Bass is making out with Carly Waddell in such a manner that the network has to censor some of it. So there was that.
Later on, after a well-needed commercial break, Josh Murray is sitting down to dinner with Amanda Stanton. Josh clearly has his eyebrows waxed and puts gel in his hair at a resort that is probably a cool 72 degrees at night which should be a red flag, but he works hard to convince Amanda and her that he is serious about her. Amanda concentrates as hard as she can while Josh tells her that “everything is very real for me.”
Amanda says, “He’s like everything that I’ve ever wanted,” adding that, “after tonight I do love Josh.”
They embrace while fireworks explode in the distance, which begs the question: are there just always fireworks going off at Mexican beaches?
Ashley, again, trashes Shushanna and calls her “a Russian hooker” and then Jami has a drink that inspires her and she goes off with Wells to talk.
Next week promises “multiple proposals” but asks “who will go home brokenhearted?”
Ashley is probably a safe bet for the latter. And anybody who sleeps with Wells.
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