Home Jocks Moose and Google Moose re-writes the “sexist” Back To School Poem.

Moose re-writes the “sexist” Back To School Poem.

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Listen to the clip and follow along with the words below to see the actual edits. ┬áThe girl version is first and the second is the boy version which we combined and added a few “PC” pieces to appease.

 

Dear World;

I bequeath to you today one little girl . . . in a crisp dress . . . with two blue eyes . . . and a happy laugh that ripples all day long . . . and a flash of light blond hair that bounces in the sun when she runs. I trust you’ll treat her well.

She’s slipping out the backyard of my heart this morning . . . and skipping off down the street to her first day of school. And never again will she be completely mine. Prim and proud she’ll wave her young and independent hand this morning and say “Goodbye” and walk with little lady steps to the schoolhouse.

Now she’ll learn to stand in lines . . . and wait by the alphabet for her name to be called. She’ll learn to tune her ears for the sounds of school-bells . . . and deadlines . . . and she’ll learn to giggle . . . and gossip . . . and look at the ceiling in a disinterested way when the little boy ‘cross the aisle sticks out his tongue at her.

And now she’ll learn to be jealous. And now she’ll learn how it is to feel hurt inside. And now she’ll learn how not to cry.No longer will she have time to sit on the front porch steps on a summer day and watch an ant scurry across the crack in the sidewalk. Nor will she have time to pop out of bed with the dawn and kiss lilac blooms in the morning dew. No, now she’ll worry about those important things . . . like grades and which dress to wear and whose best friend is whose. And the magic of books and learning will replace the magic of her blocks and dolls.

And now she’ll find new heroes. For five full years now I’ve been her sage and Santa Claus and pal and playmate and father and friend. Now she’ll learn to share her worship with her teachers . . . which is only right. But, no longer will I be the smartest, greatest man in the whole world.

Today when that school bell rings for the first time . . . she’ll learn what it means to be a member of the group . . . with all its privileges and its disadvantages, too. She’ll learn in time that proper young ladies do not laugh out loud . . . or kiss dogs . . . or keep frogs in pickle jars in bedrooms . . . or even watch ants scurry across cracks in sidewalks in the summer.

Today she’ll learn for the first time that all who smile at her are not her friends.

And I’ll stand on the front porch and watch her start out on the long, lonely journey to becoming a woman.So, world, I bequeath to you today one little girl . . . in a crisp dress . . . with two blue eyes . . . and a flash of light blond hair that bounces in the sunlight when she runs.

I trust you’ll treat her well.

 

 

Here’s the BOY version.

Dear World: I bequeath to you today one tiny little boy…in a crisp new shirt…with two blue eyes….and a happy laugh that ripples all day long…and a flash of golden hair that glitters in the sun when he runs. I trust you’ll treat him well.

He’s slipping out of the backyard of my heart this morning…and skipping off to his first day of school. And never again will he be completely mine. Prim and proud he’ll wave his young and idependent hand this morning and day “Good-bye” and walk with little boy steps to the classroom.

Now he’ll learn to stand in lines…and wait for his name to be called. He’ll learn to tune his ears for the sounds of school bells…and deadlines…and he’ll learn to giggle…and gossip…and only pay attention when the teacher is watching. He’ll learn how to feel hurt inside and he’ll learn how not to cry.

No longer will he have time to sit in the backyard on a summer day and watch an ant scurry across a crack in the footpath. Nor will he have time to pop out of bed in the morning and lay on the couch engrossed in a much loved childhood show. No, now he’ll have to worry about more important things…like grades and which ‘cool’ shirt to wear and which friends can play with him at recess. And the magic of books and learning will replace the magic of blocks and toy cars. And now he’ll find new heroes.

For five full years now I’ve been his mentor and role model and pal and playmate and mother and friend. Now he’ll learn to share his worship with his teachers, which is only right. But no longer will I be the smartest woman in the whole wide world.

Today when that school bell rings for the very first time…he’ll learn what it means to be a member of the group…with all its privileges and its disadvantages too. He’ll learn that in time proper young men do not laugh out loud…or kiss dogs…or keep bugs in jam jars in bedrooms…or even watch ants scurry across creacks in the footpath in the summer. Today he’ll learn that all who smile at him are not his true friends. And I’ll stand back and watch him start out the long, lonely journey to becoming a man.

So, world, I bequeath to you today, one little boy…in a crisp new shirt…with two blue eyes…and a flash of golden hair that glitters in the sunlight when he runs……..I trust you’ll treat him well.